Tangles is a wife, mom and, like us, has gone through the whole law school experience. She’s also just completely amazing – I’ve enjoyed reading her blog and learning about her life. After reading her blog, I asked her to give us some advice from the other side – advice about being in a relationship with a professional student. Since I gave you my 1L-alum spin on things, I thought someone like Tangles might be a good adviser for all of us, since she’s been through it all! Give her a read, then stop by her blog! 🙂
I would like to thank Legally Married for asking me to write a guest post. She is such a sweetie and I am incredibly flattered!
Life on the Outside:
Tips for Life as a Girlfriend/Fiancee/Wife of a Law Student
This was our timeline of the roller coaster ride that was law school.
- 1/2002 Hubs and I meet for the first time. He’s beginning his second year at Baylor Law School.
- 5/2002 We’re engaged!
- 6/2002 Hubs is in Dallas for six weeks for a clerkship at a law firm.
- 7/2002 We’re married!
- 8/2002 Hubs is in Guadalajara, Mexico for two weeks for a class for law school.
- 5/2003 We’re moving to Amarillo for the summer. I didn’t want to be apart from Hubs for four months, so I quit my job in Waco.
- 8/2003 We’re back in Waco so Hubs can finish up law school.
- 2004 Hubs graduated! We’re moving back to Amarillo. I’ll miss my family, but I’m excited about embarking on this adventure!
As a girlfriend, it’s so exciting at first, to be dating a law student. He is so mature and attending law school seems so grown up! Then reality sets in. He’s busy almost all the time – either attending class or studying. It makes you cherish the time you get to spend together.
As a fiancee, it’s frustrating. You’re trying to plan a wedding and dealing with family issues while he’s clerking at a law firm. You enjoy getting to go to fancy parties and wine tastings, but what you really want is just to be with him.
As a wife, it’s little easier because you’re married now and living together. You can finally see the end in sight. It’s so exciting because he’s been looking for jobs.
- Having lots of free time when he’s studying/working. (Enjoy that time, but cherish the time you spend together.)
- Attending law school banquets, parties (fancy or not!), and trips with the law firms.
- Once he secures a job, hopefully a nice salary and peace of mind!
- Knowing that he is a diligent worker. (Law school is hard!)
- Not running the household when he has free time. (I hardly did any housework the first two years of our marriage because he was home/studying more than I was!
- Missing each other and making time for each other.
- Allowing him to do what he needs to do – whether it’s studying, working, or free time for himself.
- Living on a small budget.
- Both of you having full-time jobs with different schedules.
- Running a household mainly by yourself sometimes (i.e. paying bills, cleaning, cooking, etc.)
- Feeling like an outsider. (It seems that every conversation revolves around law school, but I definitely don’t advocate going to law school to follow a guy or get away from a guy. If you go to law school, do it because you love the law!)
- Law school is a full-time job. Always be supportive, encouraging, and understanding.
- Try to help him in any way you can – whether it’s mailing applications, licking envelopes, etc.
- Take a vacation together before he begins his lawyer job! (We did not do this, but kind of wish we did!)
- Save your $$$. (I wouldn’t recommend buying a home right away. Make sure the job and location are going to work out.)
- Don’t bog him down with all the details of something. Keep it short and sweet.
- Don’t bombard him with anything (good or bad) as soon as he walks in the door.
*Tangles and Hubs live near Dallas with their 13 month old son, Babe. Hubs quit his lawyer job to pursue his dream of being a teacher. He is currently a principal in the public school system. Tangles quit her job as a banking officer to be a stay-at-home mom.
Visit her blog at http://tangledintexas.blogspot.com/.*