Things I Sometimes Want to Tell People in My Life: Edition One.
Have you ever just really, really wanted to tell someone something, but you hold it in? I feel like I spend half my life doing this. So, I thought I’d share some of the things that I keep inside, out of politeness, propriety and a sense of being a good example and not a holy terror to those around me.
I keep from saying them, and one day (like the mom on Little Women), I’ll keep myself from feeling/thinking them as well. These are specific things that I would actually say with real-life people in mind. Most of them are not that nice, so I guess it’s the better part of valor that I don’t actually say them and just make you read them instead. 😉
1) Just stop talking. (I actually use this one on Ducks semi-often, but would like to say it to others fairly regularly too).
2) You’re not my boss, so stop acting like you are.
3) Leave me alone. I’m trying to work.
4) I don’t care about your three-week, four-country European vacation and how you suffered because it was JUST TOO LONG and there was too much bread and too much gelato.
5) Take off those fake eyelashes, for the love of all that is holy! You’re not fooling anyone.
6) Believe in yourself – stop being so shy.
7) Just eat a sandwich already! You weigh 95 pounds – you are NOT fat.
8) When you use so much bad language, it’s unladylike.
9) I don’t call you every day because you keep me on the phone for 80 minutes when I do.
10) I really want to be your friend, but I’m afraid I’m not cool enough.
11) STOP CLIPPING YOUR NAILS AT YOUR DESK!
12) Stop eating tuna at your desk!
13) No, I will not come listen to your band. I’d rather sit in a room with an angry Bob Knight and 50 chairs.
14) Please stop parking in front of our house.
14 1/2) Please stop making a huge deal about it when people park in front of our house.
15) I hate when you go to sleep at 8 p.m. (okay, I actually do say that one, too. It’s easy to see which ones are Ducks-related)
16) This is a great company, but don’t expect me to stay here for 25 years, just because other people do.
17) I’d really like it if you would marry my sister. 🙂 She’ll get over the fact that you’re a ginger.
18) Sometimes I get sick of hearing about sports.
19) I am not my sister’s keeper. She’s an adult, so don’t call me – call her.
What kinds of things do you want to say? Do you have anything that irks you that you just keep inside? Or, are you all perfect beings without a malicious thought in your heads (Abbey probably qualifies for the last one, as she’s one of the best role models and testimonies that I know. 🙂 ).