Life’s Not Fair

Wondering Why…

Why do things happen?

Sad things. Worrisome things. Unfair things.

Obviously there’s no answer to those questions, other than just life.

One of my friends from college has a baby who is less than a year old and who has a brain tumor. So unfair. They are a wonderful couple, very kind, loving and giving. While we weren’t extremely close in college, we spent some time hanging out together afterward because we lived in the same town where her husband was attending law school.

Obviously life is not fair when sweet adorable babies have debilitating illnesses.

Closer to home, life is also unfair.

I think I’ve told you all how much I admire my mother-in-law. She’s one of those people that I truly just look up to in awe. She teaches school, raised two upstanding sons, drives Meals on Wheels routes, stayed in Junior League five years past sustainer age, needlepoints exquisitely, runs marathons and does fitness boot camps for fun. She is the true picture of today’s accomplished woman, in my opinion.

Two years ago, she was diagnosed with fallopian tube/ovarian cancer and went through the rounds of surgery, the chemo, the hair loss, everything we associate with this horrible illness. In response, she didn’t wallow in her own misery. She started a Caring Bridge site that was honestly more inspiring than most other websites because she was so filled with hope and determination to beat cancer. She kept teaching on days when she wasn’t receiving chemo and she kept working out.

When the doctors told her a meat-based diet can be associated with recurrences of the disease, she immediately switched to being a vegan….and she never cheats.

I’m so proud of her, and that’s why things are so unfair.

In her latest scan, one cancerous lymph node was found. So, that means another round of surgery, another round of radiation and more treatments. Of course, we never see anything but the best side of everything, but how can she be so calm and accepting? I’m in tears just thinking about it.

And that’s why things are not fair. All we can do, all anyone can do, is trust in God, and hope and pray for the best. But still, life’s not fair, there are no guarantees and anything can happen to anyone at any time.

One thing to be thankful for is that – whatever happens to her, my mother-in-law has an inconquerable spirit, unshakeable faith and amazing fortitude and resiliency.

This is a picture of my in-laws that MD Anderson used in some of their awareness/promotion materials. I should say that my father-in-law has been there every step of the way and has supported her through this entire arduous journey. They are such good examples of a wonderful marriage and partnership.


16 responses to “Life’s Not Fair

  1. What a great picture, running hand in hand to the finish line. We should all be so lucky. You and Ducks are privileged to have them in you life. I pray for a happy ending, but more importantly a blessed journey, for both your in-laws and your friends.

  2. I wonder the same things too sometimes. I find myself asking with such a wonderful God – how could He allow bad things to happen?

    • I know – obviously, there must be some greater plan. I know that many people have been blessed already by her story, but it’s frustrating. I just want to say, “Hasn’t she done enough? Is this enough YET?”

  3. What a beautiful picture, it gave me chills. I have wondered “why” many times this year in my clinical rotations, and have come to the realization that there is never a good reason to explain why illness befalls some and not others, and why some are cured of their disease while others are not.

    The only conclusion I have found is that our bodies are fragile and we would be wise to not take our times of good health for granted.

    Wishing you peace,

    • Thank you – you are so right. My MIL always takes such good care of herself. I feel sure that I would have wallowed in despair if it were me, but her great attitude inspires me to be better in her honor.

  4. I am so incredibly sorry that your family is having to go through this. I hope that the treatments go as well as possible and know that I will be thinking of you all and keeping you in my prayers.

  5. That’s a great picture of them, and it says so much about their relationship. Being there for your spouse in good times and in bad is really what it’s all about.

  6. Simply amazing MIL! I’ll be saying prayers! Thinking of you….

  7. I’m so sorry for your mother-in-law…and for you and Ducks. I can’t imagine dealing with her struggles. I truly hope she beats it again and goes on inspiring young women like you! I will definitely keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.

  8. Pingback: More prayers | Legally Married

  9. This picture is priceless – I love their huge smiles! Thank you so much for this post, Natalie. Reminded me that life is short and that I need to make the best of every day I have.

  10. Pingback: Heavy Hearted | Legally Married

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