How to Meet People

Okay, this is not a question for me. I have no trouble meeting people, and I also have more social engagements than I know what to do with lately (a far cry from when Ducks started school and I was wondering how to amuse myself without being in his presence every waking/non-working hour). But, this is not about me.

I’m asking for a friend.

My friend L wants to get married. Maybe that’s putting it bluntly, but it’s true. That’s what she really desires in life, among other things. Now, she’s not some psycho, one-dimensional, estrogen-exuding, biological-clock-ticking guy’s-worst-nightmare-a-la-Kate-Hudson-in-How-to-Lose-a-Guy-in-Ten-Days kind of girl. She’s just a regular, pretty, hard-working late 20s girl who’d like to meet someone, settle down, have children and all that jazz.

She’s not even that picky, and I don’t mean that in a bad way. Whereas I would have only wanted to marry someone with a college degree (sorry if that sounds snobby, but it’s true…unless they went straight from high school to the NBA or inventing computers or something), she doesn’t care. Her last serious relationship was with a firefighter (now, don’t get all fantasy-land on me, he was a ginormous JERK). Since then, she’s just had some bad luck. And, the worst thing is, she can’t figure out how in the world to meet people.

Maybe this is a peril of living in Texas, where everyone marries young, but there’s no one single/decent/not skankish among the guys we know. We can’t seem to come up with anyone from Ducks’ law school class; we don’t know anyone at work; and we can’t find anyone suitable really outside of that. Why is this? Seems like among our network of friends, we should be able to scrounge up at least a couple of upstanding single gentlemen?

What are your suggestions? Have any ideas on how she could meet people? Or why there seems to be a dearth of guys out there? Maybe the fact that we were invited to a very questionable bikini contest by one of Ducks’ law school friends is one indication of why – there are too many opportunities out there to find someone not-quite-so-nice to spend the evening with and to avoid commitment? Some of us girls (well, most of you who blog are in this category) snatch up and “train” the good guys when they’re younger, therefore leaving only the stragglers for our single friends (I’m kidding about this! Mostly.)?

 

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15 responses to “How to Meet People

  1. I don’t have an answer for how she can meet a nice guy, but I do have a hopeful story. This year, I was single for a brief period and when I met the guy I’m now dating, I actually asked him on our second date if he was a serial killer, or secretly married, or if he perhaps cooked meth as a side job. He truly did seem too good to be true, and I was born a skeptic.

    The good news is that he was truly as fabulous as he seemed – and at age 27, no less! 🙂

    So even though it seems like the pickings are slim, there ARE decent guys out there who are single, who want not to be. Tell you friend not to lower her standards too far, and she’ll find the right one when she isn’t even looking!

  2. Not sure if this exists there, but in San Diego there’s a very cool organization called VAVI, which is a sports & social club. You can join teams and meet people. It’s not all sports related, they have bowling and stuff too. I have several single friends who have joined and made some new friends.

  3. Common interests!!! Everyone I ever dated where it ended well, I met in the gym, doing a volunteer activity, or in some context where I was *doing* something that I cared about/enjoyed. I met my fiance doing something political even though we’re different parties. The fact that he cared a lot about national affairs, etc made us a good fit (I’m more academic, but fundamentally we can still talk about most stuff). I think that’s the trick because then you have a common ground to build from. Even if it’s something you find on Meetup.com or whatever.

  4. My sister-in-law was in the same situation. For her 28th birthday, she let her friends set her up on 50 blind dates and she found Mr. Right on date number 3! Maybe it would work for L too.
    Here’s a snippet of her story. It’s part of her blog about adopting an international special needs baby.
    http://the-white-acres.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2011-06-15T19%3A41%3A00-07%3A00&max-results=1&reverse-paginate=true

  5. I have a friend in this category! She’s just moved to a big city far, far away (sad me!) to shake things up, but I SWEAR the place to meet people would be at a big city park. Austin has a gorgeous flagship park near downtown, and my husband and I love to go out on evenings, spread out a blanket, and talk or read or whatever. Every night we go, at least a couple dogs wander over to us and check us out. Most of the dog owners are men who appear to be single (or at least not married). I think a single girl could have some real luck meeting a guy through his dog (as cliche as it might be from movies). One of my best friends is about to marry a guy she met dating online, and I know several other girls more casually who have also settled down with a guy they met through online dating. Other than that, I am fresh out of ideas! I don’t know too many single guys to begin with.

  6. I could not agree more with your post. I’ve got quite a few AMAZING friends that just can’t meet anyone. I’m so happy and lucky that I met Mr. Jones young – and I might even agree that I trained him well after the dinner he cooked last night! I think this is a Southern thing – b/c I know everyone marries so young in AL. Maybe a change of scenery could be a good thing?

  7. I’ve heard good things about those dating websites. It’s better than the bar scene!

  8. i would be right there with her, but i did exactly what your last sentence said. i met the husband when we were 15 and have been training him for the last 14 years now. its still a work in progress but…

    i’ve heard a few people having luck with the online sties.

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  10. I didn’t marry young and my husband is four years older than me, so he definitely didn’t marry young. Lol. Most people I know met their significant other through a friend. But I would suggest joining some local organizations. We have a young professionals organization run by our chamber here in Dallas. It has been a great way to make new friends and meet people with common interests. I was actually shocked at how many YP groups we have here. There is even a YP group of kayakers! Volunteering and going to local events/parks is probably a good way as well. I have a friend that has been dating through internet sites for a while now. She hasn’t met the one, but has gone out with some really good guys because of it. Might be worth a try!

  11. As a 35 yr old sassy, fun, and VERY single lady, it’s not easy to meet people at all… I’ve done the music scene here in Austin and met a TON of people… maybe I should tell my friends about the 50 blind dates idea… that sounds like torture and fun all at the same time… I’d have to write a book! (but I doubt nothing would beat the guy who answered his door wearing panty hose, who promised a steak dinner, and put half a subway sandwich on the table.). 😉

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