Boundaries

Argh.

We interrupt the regularly scheduled busy-ness of life to ask a pressing question.

OMG, how do you make your co-worker stop coming over and giving you neck/shoulder massages?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Sound creepy? It is.

Don’t get me wrong – he’s a really nice man, and his wife is a masseuse (sp?) and yoga granola and all that, so I don’t think he INTENDS on being creepy. But it IS!

I told Ducks about it and he was like “You need to just tell him to stop!” But I don’t want to offend him, because he is a really nice person, or make something that was not intended to be weird into something that IS weird. My strategy now is to just try to politely escape by talking to another co-worker or spinning my chair around out of the massaging zone. What would you do?!

PS Also, why am I always surrounded by creepers? Seriously, I’m not THAT attractive. 😉

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6 responses to “Boundaries

  1. I would just straight up tell him to stop. Maybe in a nicer way at first, then more straight-forward.

    I used to have a coworker that was really touchy-feely. Even when I was pregnant w/ my son, she would slap my butt when she walked by. One day I had just had enough and told her to stop. I even explained that when she did that, it caught me off guard and nudged my (baby) belly into the counter. She just got really pissed off and acted like I was just being a bitch. It’s like she honestly didn’t understand that it was wrong and uncomfortable.

  2. I would do as you suggest at the end, but just turning your chair so you’re facing him and not allow him to get behind you. If it really makes you uncomfortable and you don’t want to say anything, perhaps a discussion with your HR manager? They’re prepared to deal with things like that.

  3. Get really scared one time (like, super startled) and freak out. That might put an end to it!

  4. I don’t have any advice (whatever you do it’s going to be an awkward conversation), but I did want to say you have my sympathy. Unsolicited massages are totally not appropriate in the workplace, especially by an opposite gender employee, no matter how well meaning or platonic. He should know that. I’m a little disappointed that his friends or his wife haven’t steered him back on course. I bet he does this outside of work too and they’ve observed it. It’s their social duty to set him straight.
    A-W-K-W-A-R-D!

  5. CREEP-O! I think the strategy you have down now is good. Politely and quickly step away when he approaches! Though a good neck rub can be awesome, given by the right person!! Haha this made me laugh, I have an office ‘hugger’ that I stay away from. He will even hug you when you’re seated and makes it awkward b/c you’re crotch level with him. Sometimes you’re just never safe in an office environment! 😉

  6. Um, total creepster!! I had a manager that used to do that. Although, he was pretty slimey and cheating on his wife. It totally ooged me out, but was also difficult to deal with. I think you have the right idea since he’s not trying to grope you per se, but if you’re uncomfortable then he needs to stop. That’s just not appropriate at work. At. ALL.

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