Category Archives: friends

friends

BFFs?

Okay, so here’s what I’ve been wondering lately. Ducks noted that we don’t have best friends. And it’s true. We have a lot of friends, but we don’t have anyone here in town that we can call our best friend couple, people who come over all the time, etc.

So, do you all have best friends? I assume a lot of people either:

1) Move back to the place they grew up and reunite with childhood friends

2) Move to an area where a lot of college friends live

3) Make friends through church

4) Make friends with their kids’ friends’ parents.

Am I right? For us, our interests are so disparate from the people who Ducks goes to school with – a lot of them fall into one category or another, either out hitting the bars around campus, sleeping with each other, etc. OR in a routine/rut like us and not too interested in being social. My friends from work live fairly far away (pitfalls of living in one of the largest cities in the nation from a geographical standpoint). And, then, during the school year, we just don’t live on the same schedule most of the time. Also, maybe I’m just not good at cultivating regular friendships? I remember in college a few times pretending to be asleep when friends would call so I wouldn’t have to go out. But, I also remember having a regular happy hour group and throwing parties and such. So, I don’t know.

The main thing is, I think, we want friends who are couples that we can do relaxed things with together. We can always get a group together for parties – I think we had about 40 – 50 people over for my birthday and had friends over for the Heisman ceremony (of course, I had to find a way to mention THAT on this blog!). We also have basketball or football watch parties sometimes.  It’s the regular, established, drop-in-anytime, oh-let’s-watch-TV-together friendship that I’m wondering about.

So, the question for today is – who are your friends? How did you meet them? Do you have a best-friend-couple that you hang out with all the time? Or is that not a very common occurrence and more likely to be relegated to sitcoms?

Hope you had a nice day (and that it was a holiday for most of you!).

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New Blog Project

Don’t worry – I’m still blogging here, telling you a little bit about law-school-wife-ism and a lot about random happenings in my life.

But, since my own life isn’t quite interesting enough for me, I’ve decided to take over the social life of one of my dearest friends. Starting with an idea from Abbey ‘s sister-in-law, we have convinced my friend L to go on her own dating odyessey, to find a few good men, but ultimately to provide us with amusement and maybe lead to some good things happening in her life.

So, betake yourselves, and your suggestions to our new site: the 27 Suit{or}s project. And comment and such, because L is worried that she’s going to be alone for the rest of her life. 😉

I’m a Guest Poster! :)

So, I almost forgot to tell you that I’m a guest poster today at Chic ‘n Cheap Living! It’s a great blog with fashion-forward items, fun and stylish food for thought and more. Sometimes I just visit her site and drink in all the fun things she shares (and wish that I had a little more discretionary income!). She also will sometimes post travel photos that are TO.DIE.FOR.

My post, which is about home design and interior decorating, is here.

Go give it a look, check out my post and add CNC to your blog reading list!

The Green-Eyed Monster

And I’m not talking about Ducks, although he does have really excellent green eyes.

I’m talking about jealousy.

Jealousy and covetousness are my biggest failings, I think; definitely the areas I need to work on most. I’ve always been a little insecure, and I think law school has exacerbated this situation.

It’s really a head vs. heart battle. In my head, I know that we’re doing the right things – paying as much as we can toward law school and taking out as few loans as possible. Before school started (while Ducks was still working), we paid off both our vehicles, and we don’t accumulate any credit card debt. We pay our cards off in full every month without dipping in to our savings, even though that means we may have to miss out on expensive dinners out and glamorous date nights. So, in my head, I know I should be proud of our accomplishments, that I should look to the future and how financially secure we’ll be, and that I should be content to wait through the short time that comprises the rest of law school before enjoying some of the better, more exciting, more fun things in life. In my head, I know that extra money (when we have it), goes toward our mortgage so we can pay our house off sooner, and occasionally goes toward our one spending vice – basketball season tickets.

But my heart is a completely different story. This past weekend proves it. What happened? We went to a wedding. Not just any wedding – the wedding of one of Ducks’ high school friends to a girl who went to college with us. And all my pea-green envy welled up inside me at every turn. Sitting in the reception that certainly cost far more than my salary for an entire year. Hearing some of Ducks’ other friends talk about their summer vacation to Guatemala. Checking out one of his high school friend’s fiancee’s engagement ring and zealously evaluating whether it measured up to mine (in case you’re wondering, the end conclusion was that mine is bigger). I even started feeling jealous over things that have NEVER bothered me before – over the fact that my mother-in-law doesn’t gush to people about how wonderful I am when she introduces me to people. Over the fact that I wasn’t wearing a $200 dress to the reception, but was instead wearing something I’ve worn to several weddings in the past.

I shouldn’t feel bad over these things, because we could afford to do them as well, if we used more loans instead of paying a large chunk of the tuition ourselves, if we accepted money from Ducks’ family educational trust (which he refuses to do), if we ran up our credit cards, or if we simply depleted our savings. We have other goals in mind and other ways we plan to spend our money, so it shouldn’t bother me. But sometimes it does, and that’s the honest truth.

Being surrounded by opulence at this weekend’s wedding (that should have been on Platinum Weddings) – from the enormous glassed-in ballroom at the top of a skyscraper overlooking their city, to the steak and swordfish dinner, to the open bar, to the cake that belonged on Ace of Cakes, to the bride’s dress, which probably could have fed a small village for a year, I felt like a peasant wandering outside Versailles. I wouldn’t have chosen that kind of wedding for myself, and I did have a lovely wedding of my own, which I wouldn’t trade. I just hated to think of my own wedding, my own husband, my own life, being evaluated and measured against what everyone else from this little clique was doing. Ducks is part of a group of four from high school who stick together and who are still good friends, attend/are in each others’ weddings whether they’re in rural Texas or in far away Wisconsin, call on each others’ birthdays, send each other weird movies and all that – I just don’t want to be measured up and found lacking in comparison with these other brides.

How do you stem the rising tides of jealousy and insecurity? Again, in my head, I know that I have the best of the four husbands/fiancees 😉 , so that should tip the scales in my favor. And he was extremely handsome this weekend in his seersucker suit, ladies.

(Left – one of the high school besties; right – Ducks!)

That should take the sting out of the bride’s $250 shoes, compared to my $25 (on sale) dress I wore to the grand event, shouldn’t it? (PS Natalie, I did wear the wrap I won on your blog contest!).

Do you guys get jealous? How do you deal with it?

How to Meet People

Okay, this is not a question for me. I have no trouble meeting people, and I also have more social engagements than I know what to do with lately (a far cry from when Ducks started school and I was wondering how to amuse myself without being in his presence every waking/non-working hour). But, this is not about me.

I’m asking for a friend.

My friend L wants to get married. Maybe that’s putting it bluntly, but it’s true. That’s what she really desires in life, among other things. Now, she’s not some psycho, one-dimensional, estrogen-exuding, biological-clock-ticking guy’s-worst-nightmare-a-la-Kate-Hudson-in-How-to-Lose-a-Guy-in-Ten-Days kind of girl. She’s just a regular, pretty, hard-working late 20s girl who’d like to meet someone, settle down, have children and all that jazz.

She’s not even that picky, and I don’t mean that in a bad way. Whereas I would have only wanted to marry someone with a college degree (sorry if that sounds snobby, but it’s true…unless they went straight from high school to the NBA or inventing computers or something), she doesn’t care. Her last serious relationship was with a firefighter (now, don’t get all fantasy-land on me, he was a ginormous JERK). Since then, she’s just had some bad luck. And, the worst thing is, she can’t figure out how in the world to meet people.

Maybe this is a peril of living in Texas, where everyone marries young, but there’s no one single/decent/not skankish among the guys we know. We can’t seem to come up with anyone from Ducks’ law school class; we don’t know anyone at work; and we can’t find anyone suitable really outside of that. Why is this? Seems like among our network of friends, we should be able to scrounge up at least a couple of upstanding single gentlemen?

What are your suggestions? Have any ideas on how she could meet people? Or why there seems to be a dearth of guys out there? Maybe the fact that we were invited to a very questionable bikini contest by one of Ducks’ law school friends is one indication of why – there are too many opportunities out there to find someone not-quite-so-nice to spend the evening with and to avoid commitment? Some of us girls (well, most of you who blog are in this category) snatch up and “train” the good guys when they’re younger, therefore leaving only the stragglers for our single friends (I’m kidding about this! Mostly.)?

 

Divorce Party

Okay, just a quick post to let you guys know I haven’t forgotten you…. 😉

And don’t worry, Ducks and I are not getting divorced.

One of my colleagues, a girl who is somewhere between acquaintance and friend, is having a party tonight. It should be simple to say, “Oh, I’ll be there,” right? After all, it involves margaritas on a patio – what’s not to love?

The thing that stops me from wanting to attend is this – it’s a “divorce party.”

She’s celebrating the finalization of her divorce paperwork, etc., and the fact that she’s single again. I don’t know how to feel about this. On one hand, she’s a very nice girl who is excited to start a new, and hopefully better, portion of her life. But, on the other hand, should we really celebrate the destruction of the institution of marriage?

It’s so hard to know about this kind of thing. Plus, I’m just a sociable kind of girl, so I feel badly about not showing up to things other people are hosting. (Oh, also, the annoying friends of my friend H are invited, and after Thing #1’s inappropriate attempts to dance with me and poke his finger into my bridesmaid’s dress cleavage area, I’m so NOT up for seeing him.)

What are your thoughts? Would you attend a divorce party? Is it right to have a divorce party? And would it be any different if it were a “new beginnings” party instead of a divorce party? Is it supporting a friend or supporting the dissolution of the institution of marriage?

One Year – Done (for me)

I wrote this past weekend about Ducks finishing his 1L year. Well, today’s my a one-year milestone for me as well – the one-year anniversary of this humble blog. A year ago, when I was obsessively gleaning wisdom from Law School Wife’s blog and thinking about starting my own, I never would have thought that:

1) I’d actually stick to a project for this long.

2) I’d come to like and enjoy and care about people from the internet so much!

I wanted to do a contest on the one-year anniversary, but apparently I can’t get myself together enough to accomplish that. So…how about I get that kind of thing together over the long weekend? 😉

Thanks to everyone who has been so lovely and supportive this year – I hope to keep in touch with all of you (and meet more of you!) as Ducks and I continue the law school journey.

Two other things of note for this day:

– The first of my bridesmaid announced her pregnancy yesterday. It’s crazy to me, but she looks so adorable and happy. She is one of the best little homemakers I know – someone who really takes a lot of joy in creating things of beauty, elegant meals, etc. She will make a great mom. But, I will say, although I’ve posted once about a bit of a baby bug, that’s safely in check. I want to still wait for about three more years (at which time I’ll be 30 – aah!).

– Stabler is leaving SVU. Travesty. They shouldn’t break up this duo.

That’s all I have to say about that.